THE KILLER CHIPMUNKS!
by Chip and Dale
Summary: The killer chipmunks are loose and they're coming after the humans. And the world just is not safe when they're on the loose.....R&R.
1. PART ONE: Chip's ruined hair

Disclaimer: We don't own the HP characters, blah blah blah, or Chip and Dale.  
  
A/N: All right, a friend and I made this up together and uh here it is!  
  
  
  
On a hot September afternoon, Draco Malfoy and Rubeus Hagrid where playing in little bikinis in   
  
the lake.   
  
"Hagrid! You're getting my hair wet!" Draco shrieked in a girly voice.  
  
Just then, Hagrid farted under the water and sent humongous water bubbles all over the place.   
  
Draco screamed, sounding very much like a little girl and ran away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Just as Hagrid threw fart bubbles everywhere, Chip the chipmunk was walking by. The water   
  
splashed all over him. He became very angry at this for he had just gotten his hair groomed!   
  
He ran to the forest to find his brother, Dale. He told Dale and he was very angry too! He had   
  
sent the acorns with Chip to pay for that grooming! He had worked very hard for those acorns!   
  
Later that night, Chip and Dale called all of their chipmunk friends and, blah blah blah, they   
  
decided to kill all of the humans! That night, they became the KILLER CHIPMUNKS!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Up at the school, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in Defense against the dark arts class. They were  
  
doing boggarts today, (A/N: I know they already did that but oh well!) and it just so happened to  
  
be Harry's turn! Harry walked up to the boggart. It saw him and turned into a CHIPMUNK!   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry screamed,   
  
then passed out.  
  
A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 


	2. The First Victim!

Disclaimer: We own only the plot and you know it.  
  
A/N: Ok, we didn't think we would get that many reviews for this, but we give a big thank you to  
  
those who did.  
  
Harry woke up in the hospital wing a few hours later. Maddam Pomfrey saw that he had awoken and   
  
rushed over to him.   
  
"Thank God you're awake! Now get out!" Maddam Pomfrey shoved Harry out the door.  
  
Harry listened at the hospital door and heard a strange squeaking noise coming from inside.   
  
The squeaking got louder and louder. Harry couldn't take the suspense anymore. He threw open the  
  
door and passed out again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I hope Harry's not alright."Hermione said to Ron.  
  
"Me too."Ron answered.   
  
They walked into the great hall and saw everybody dressed as cave men, jumping on the tables and   
  
eating like wild savages. Hermione and Ron went and put their cave men suits on and came back and   
  
jumped on the tables and ate like wild men too.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Some chipmunks were marching up to school in their army outfits side by side with guns over their  
  
shoulders. Then they saw it. Their fist victim.   
  
Neville Longbottom.  
  
A/N: BWAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!   
  
Review?  
  
Oh, and we really need a new beta! Anyone out there? Please??!!!!!!  
  
-Chip and Dale  
  
And a special thanks to: jamesismysweetheart, Yup, we like chipmunks too! Liking the thought of   
  
Hagrid in a bikini....strange. DeannaSmith, um...ok. C is for COOKIE, yes. LoonyLupin, yes, we   
  
are insane. Maybe we should make a sequal! We could dedicate it to you. Sina Ba Ako, lalalalalalala....  
  
aBIGpoptart, why, thank you! blimmchen, we're wondering how they're gonna do that too. :-) 


	3. Squeaky Tounge

Disclaimer: We own only the plot.  
  
Neville Longbottom was picking some flowers for his gran.(A/N: We know that they would probably  
  
all be black by the time they got to her but we couldn't think of anything thing else we could   
  
make him be doing.) When he saw the strangest thing. It was a turtle walking backwards!(A/N: Can   
  
turtles walk backwards?) He bent down to inspect the turtle for he had never seen a turtle walking  
  
walking backwards before. It was then that he felt something hard pelt his butt. He swerved   
  
around but tripped on his robes! He felt little claws scratching at his skin and could feel   
  
acorns being pelted at him all over. He tried to struggle with the strange things all over him   
  
but all of them together was just too much for him. He breathed one last breath and passed away..  
  
....(A/N: Poor Neville!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After lunch, Ron and Hermione decided to go visit Harry in the hospital wing. They walked up   
  
and the sight that met their eyes was a little strange. Harry was passed out on the floor and   
  
Maddam Pomfrey and a bunch of chipmunks in army outfits were were talking to each other.(A/N: Or  
  
should we say squeaking?)   
  
"You're a squeaky tounge?!"Hermione shouted while pointing an accusing finger at Maddam Pomfrey.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The KILLER CHIPMUNKS finished with Neville and went out to look for their next victim........  
  
A/N: We still don't have a beta and we really need one! Anybody?  
  
Review!  
  
-Chip and Dale 


	4. THE CHIPMUNKS ARE COMING!

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter characters or Chip and Dale or anything else you recognize.  
  
"I....I.."Maddam Pomfrey stuttered.  
  
Then she turned to the chipmunks, and squeaked something out, which had to be, "KILL THEM!" for,  
  
right after she had squeaked that, all of the chipmunks came running towards them, pointing their guns at them and   
  
started shooting acorns out.(Of the guns.) Ron and Hermione ran for their lives. And lets say,   
  
blah, blah, blah, they somehow lost the chipmunks on the way. They ran all the way down to the   
  
great hall, where everyone was still eating like wild savages. They burst into the great hall   
  
and shouted at the top of their lungs,"THE CHIPMUNKS ARE COMING! THE CHIPMUNKS ARE COMING!"   
  
Professor Dumbledore stood up and shouted to all of the prefects to get their houses back to the  
  
dormitories at once.  
  
  
  
A/N: Review! And Our thanks go to:  
  
blimmchen:Thanks! ash vault rose garden: Thankyou for reviewing! And I(Chip) read your bio, I   
  
agree with you. Preps do suck. Deanna: Hello little sister! Why didn't you log in to leave a   
  
review? 


	5. Attack of the KILLER CHIPMUNKS!

Disclaimer: We own only the plot. And all of the chipmunks besides Chip and Dale.  
  
  
  
"Prefects! Get them all to their house dormitories at once!" Dumbledore shouted.  
  
All the prefects got up and started leading their houses back to their dormitories as fast as   
  
possible. But when they were about ten feet from the double doors of the great hall, ALL THE   
  
KILLER CHIPMUNKS BURST IN! And the school did NOT remain calm. Everyone started screaming and   
  
running around in circles. Snape sat, shaking in a corner with fear. And was heard muttering   
  
inconhenerently to himself. Professor Sprout fainted, Professor Binns fell asleep, and Professor  
  
Dumbledore jumped up on the high table and started shrieking and pointing at the tiny chipmunks,  
  
still just standing in the doorway, looking at them like they thought they were all idiots.  
  
"If you do not all shut up this instant, we will kill the Potter boy!" Their leader, Chip,   
  
squeaked out at them.  
  
But hearing a chipmunk talk, only scared them even more and they didn't stop. Then, Chip, who   
  
was standing on Harry's Shoulder, shot Harry in the head with an acorn. Everyone stopped and   
  
stared.  
  
"That tickles!" Harry said.   
  
"What?!" shouted Chip, who was still on Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Well, you see, Mr. Chippymunky sir, I'm the boy who lived, so I can't die!" Harry said back to   
  
the now furious chipmunk.  
  
Chip started shooting Harry in the head again and again and again.......  
  
"Mr.......Chippy......munky! Please......stop!.....It....tickles...too.......much!" Harry cried   
  
in between screams of laughter.  
  
Chip ran out of acorns, pulled out his other gun, and squeaked," Fine! If I can't kill him, I   
  
will kill.......You!"  
  
  
  
A/N: Who is Chip going to kill?! Find out next time on, well, find out next time we update.   
  
Review! 


	6. The Second Victim!

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter characters or Chip and Dale or anything else you recognize.  
  
  
  
Chip ran out of acorns, pulled out his other gun, and squeaked," Fine! If I can't kill him, I will kill.......You!"  
  
He pointed the gun towards Hermione.  
  
"Goodbye, little girl."Chip squeaked.  
  
POP! They all heard the gun go off and saw Hermione fall to the ground.  
  
"Um....OW! I'm Dead!"Hermione shouted, before she over dramatically fell to the ground, with the back of her hand pressed against her forehead.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron shouted.  
  
"Who's gonna do my homework now?"Ron stomped his feet on the ground, threw himself on the floor, and began wailing loudly. Professor McGonnagall walked up to Ron and started patting him on the back.  
  
"Now Ron, It's ok to be angry, but we don't pitch fits."McGonnagall said in a soothing voice.  
  
"I....I....Can't stop cry...crying!"Ron wailed.  
  
"Ron, SHUT UP!"Ginny shouted.  
  
"Hermione hurt my feelings! I.....I...I..."But we will never know what Ron said next, for Ginny had hit him over the head with a frying pan.(A/N: Don't ask where she got the frying pan. I have no idea.)  
  
They all sat and stared at each other. Waiting, just waiting, for someone to move..........  
  
  
  
A/N: I know that had hardly anything about the killer chipmunks in it, but the fit Ron had, is a true life experience. Seriously!   
  
Review!  
  
Thanks: blimmichen: You still review?! THAT IS SO COOL!! I told my sister the other day that my new beta was the bomb. Lol. 


	7. Be Quiet Ron!

Ginny slowly and carefully, trying not to let the chipmunks see her, inched closer to Harry, who had been pushed into the crowd by the killer chipmunks.  
  
"Harry!" She whispered.  
  
"Yeah?" He whispered back.  
  
"We have to get out of here! And now! Do you know how dangerous killer chipmunks can be? I read in a book once that they can be as dangerous as Voldermort, or even more so when provoked!" She said in a quick whisper.  
  
Harry gave her a strange look and asked: "And what do you presume we do?"  
  
"We have to go up against them! There are more of us than there are of them!"  
  
"Oh, no. No way. I'm too scared to even move!" Harry said, looking frightened.  
  
"Harry! You have to get over your fear of chipmunks!" Ginny said in a determined whisper.  
  
"I'll try." Harry said uncertainly.  
  
"Good."  
  
Ginny turned to Ron, who was now awake and oblivious to the supposedly dead Hermione, who, was seen opening her eyes and closing them again really fast when she saw someone looking at her, with strange expressions on their faces.  
  
"Ron!" she whispered.  
  
"What?" He whispered back.  
  
Ginny told him the plan to try and scare the chipmunks out of the castle. (A/N: Ya know, I have no idea what the killer chipmunks are supposed to be doing during through all of this. Let's just say that they were walking around, talking and taunting kids.)  
  
"Alright, now go and alert as many peole as you can and fast! And when I give the signal," Ginny stuck up her middle finger at Ron, showing him that that was the signal. "we all attack at once."  
  
"WHAT? DID YOU SAY GO AND ALERT PEOPLE ABOUT THE PLAN YOU AND HARRY MADE TO GET THE KILLER CHIPMUNKS OUT OF HERE?!!" Ron shouted.  
  
"Ooooohhhhhh." Ginny muttered under her breath, while rubbing her temples, as the killer chipmunks turned to them, evil grins on their faces.  
  
  
  
A/N: Bwahahahahahahahahaha! Review if you want the next chapter out in the next few days......This might be near the end. About 2 or 3 more chapters. Not sure yet. But there might be a sequel, as one of our reviewers suggested. = - )  
  
Thanks:  
  
Reaka: Well, it really helps if you eat half of a five pound chocolate bar that you got Christmas. ; )  
  
drangonsile: Cool....  
  
Darkboy77: You reviewed all six chapters! I love You! Lol.  
  
Blimmchen: Hee hee 


	8. Chip's Payback

"So little girl, you think you can kill, us do you?" Chip squeaked evily.  
  
"Uh, yeah." Ginny said unafraid.  
  
Everyone gasped.  
  
"Ginny," Harry said in a scared whisper, "Ginny, please!"  
  
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!", Ginny shouted.  
  
"Ginny....", Harry pleaded.  
  
"They barely reach our ankles!" Ginny said in a monotone voice.  
  
Chip suddenly became distracted by something up at the high table. He walked over to Hagrid, who sat watching in fear. Chip said to Hagrid: "So you think it's funny to blow fart bubbles everywhere do you?" Hagrid nodded weakly.  
  
"Well, you're not going to think so in a minute!" At that, Chip ripped off his army outfit to reveal a hot pink bikini he had put on before coming. Hagrid struggled to get away to no avail, chipmunks were holding him down in all places. Chip jumped into Hagrid´s goblet and started farting, throwing fart bubbles all over Hagrid's face.(A/N:Hagrid had it coming!)  
  
***Over With Ginny and rest of school***  
  
"Alright, to do this right, someone nock Ron out!", Ginny whispered to her huddled group.  
  
Hermione came up and hit Ron with the same frying pan that Ginny had hit him with. Ron fell to the ground, unconscious. But everyone was too busy looking at Hermione, still holding the frying pan.   
  
"Oh yeah, I'm dead!", Hermione said, as she threw herself on the floor again.  
  
"Um....Ok.", Harry said. "What should we do now, Ginny?", he asked.  
  
"Alright, I have a plan.", she said as they huddled closer together.  
  
A/N:Hmmm, I didn't think that one was that funny, but I'm gonna start working on the next chapter right now, so...Review!  
  
Thanks:  
  
Sina Ba Ako: Lol, I copy and paste the chapters from my emails when my beta sends them back to me and I guess I just forgot to take that part off, Lol, it was funny though, I saw your review so I had to go and change that.   
  
Darkboy77: Of course we thanked you! Thanks for saying thanks for us saying thanks if THAT made any sense. Lol....  
  
blimmchen: Lolololololololololol....  
  
jamesismysweetheart: Well, I guess you got your Hagrid! Lol. It's ok if you haven't been reviewing, just as long as you make sure you do sooner or later! Lolololol...  
  
Ya know I was just proofreading before sending this to my beta, and I noticed I put alot of lol's in there. Lol. See?! I can't stop! Lololololololol.... 


	9. WE WILL WIN THIS WAR!

Disclaimer: We're not taking any credit for the Hp characters or Chip and Dale.  
  
A/N: We haven't updated in a VERY long time for different reasons that you probably don't want to hear. But here's the next chapter for ya.  
  
"Alright,"Ginny whispered to the group,"You got it?"  
  
Everyone nodded to show that they understood the plan and turned back toward Chip and Hagrid just in time to see Chip do a huge fart in Hagrid's face, which must have been deadly, for Hagrid went limp.  
  
Ginny gasped and yelled "Forward!"  
  
Everyone, now holding their knives and forks, ran toward the killer chipmunks, ready for battle. The chipmunks squeaked in fear and ran toward the double doors, closely followed by the humans.  
  
They all ran out on the lawn, where there were hundred more chipmunks standing ready for battle. The humans stopped and stared.   
  
"Guys,"Ginny shouted, "This is it! Get ready!"  
  
The chipmunks started shooting their acorns out at them, and firing acorn cannons. The humans started running forward dodging the acorns, and throwing their knives at the chipmunks. They knocked over the acorn flag and out of no where, pulled out the Hogwarts flag and put it up, as they were now trampling the chipmunks. Fifteen minutes later, there where dead chipmunk bodies spread everywhere....  
  
"Well," Hermione said, "We sure got them good!"  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Hermione said hurriedly, throwing herself down onto the ground and pretending she was dead.  
  
Everyone looked at the supposedly dead Hermione.  
  
Ginny walked slowly back into the castle to see Professor Dumbledore in a bikini, a beach towel in hand and yelling over his shoulder at Professor Flitwick to hurry up.  
  
"Er, professor?"Ginny asked cautiously.  
  
"Yes, Ms. Weasley?" Dumbledore asked, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.  
  
"The killer chipmunks are dead sir."  
  
"Well thats good,"Dumbledore said, messing with his towel and not really paying any attention to her at all.  
  
Ginny sighed to herself, and walked up to her dorm to take a shower. It had been a long day.....  
  
At the Chipmunks hideout in the forbidden forest  
  
"WE WILL NOT LET THEM WIN!" Dale shouted/squeaked to his fellow chipmunks, "THIS WAR IS NOT OVER!"  
  
All the chipmunks squeaked in approval.  
  
"Chip, I have a mission for you," Dale said quietly to his brother, "I want you to go around the world and get together as many chipmunk soldiers as you can!"  
  
"Alright Dale, " Chip said nodding at him, "You're my brother and I love ya' man!"  
  
They hugged and Chip and about ten other chipmunks walked out into the distance.  
  
Dale walked out to all the chipmunks gathered in the middle of the forest and squeaked, "THEY WILL NOT WIN THIS WAR!"  
  
A/N: OK thats the end! But I PROMISE that there will be a sequel! And I am so sorry that I didn't get this done sooner. Alright I'll shut up now and shout out my thanks.  
  
dragonsile  
  
blimmchen  
  
DeannaSmith  
  
Darkboy77   
  
Sei Kou Ki  
  
jamesismysweetheart  
  
kat an tam(jamesismysweetheart)  
  
Review! And I promise that there will be a sequel soon!  
  
-Chip and Dale 


	10. PART TWO

**PART TWO

* * *

**

Harry Potter was a stupid boy. He also had boogers stuck all in his hair where everyone had flicked them at him when he walked past. Harry had no idea EVERYONE did this, he just wondered why he had boogers in his hair when he went to shower at the end of the day. But on to more important things: Harry had a gut feeling something was wrong. So, naturally, he went up to Professor Dumbledore's office to annoy him.

Harry stopped in front of the stone gargoyle. "What was the password again...?" Harry wondered briefly before remembering. Harry cleared his throat and then shouted, "BUTTCRACK!"

"MR POTTER!" Professor McGonagall walked up to him, appalled. "You are so stupid! I'm giving you a detention for being so dumb, you big crack head!" McGonagall laughed maniacally.

"But professor-"

"Shut up, butt breath!" McGonagall laughed again and ran away.

Harry walked up to Dumbledore's office as if nothing had happened. He knocked on the door.

"Oh crap what NOW!"

Harry strolled in happily.

"Oh Geese, it's you." Dumbledore did not seem to want him there at all, but Harry, being so dumb sat down and poured himself some of Dumbledore's water and helped himself to Dumbledore's cookies.

"Professor," Harry said, when his mouth was completely full of cookie, causing him to spit all over Dumbledore. Harry sat smiling and eating, his mouth too full for him to even possibly be able to taste the cookie. Crumbs were going everywhere; down his front, on the floor, everywhere.

When he finally ate the whole tin, he drank the whole jug of water, but for some _strange_ reason we will never understand, he filled his mouth with some, lifted his head up and spit it EVERYWHERE.

Dumbledore stared at Harry with a blank expression on his face. Dumbledore stared at Harry. Harry stared at Dumbledore. After about ten minutes of staring, Dumbledore gritted his teeth and spoke up.

"There was something you wished to tell me, Harry?"

Harry stared at him for a moment, a confused expression on his face. "Oh yes, yes, I have a bad feeling that something terrible is about to happen...I've been having these dreams about the...the...killer chipmunks." Harry finished in a whisper and shuddered before continuing. "They're planning something terrible on the wizarding world...and everywhere else...and when I wake up, my scar is hurting." Harry finished in a dramatic whisper.

"Oh Harry! This really means something!" Dumbledore gasped. "We need to alert the ministry at once!"

"Really?" Harry sat up straighter.

"No."

"Oh..."

"You are so stupid, get out of my office!"

Dumbledore pulled out a machine gun and started firing at Harry.

A/N: Lol, how dumb...oh well, it took a while for me to get this out, but it's FINALLY here so review! And flames are welcome, but if you're going to criticize the story, don't criticize me. I write these stories for fun, and it makes me happy to write them. I know that they're stupid, but they're meant to be.

But for the people who like the story and would like for me to update, please review, it's always appreciated.

-C&D


	11. Return of the Killer Chipmunks

Harry walked out of the office, not really trying to dodge bullets, but somehow getting away without a scratch. He walked out onto the grounds to find Ron and Hermione. He finally found them sitting next to the lake, Hermione with a book on her lap.

"Oh geese, Ron, not _again_!" Harry heard Hermione say exasperatedly. "Will you please stop it already! That's like fourteenth time you've farted in the past five minutes!"

"I told you 'Mione, I had pinto beans this morning!"

"Hi guys!" Harry walked out from behind the tree he had been hiding behind.

Ron and Hermione groaned.

"Guys," said Harry, sitting down next to them, "My scar has been hurting lately."

"So," said Ron, "my butt is hurting from farting so much."

"We need to find out what the evil chipmunks are up too!" said Hermione.

"I thought we killed them all!" said Ron.

"They've gone out to find every chipmunk they can to get back at us!" Harry shouted into Hermione's ear.

Hermione rubbed her ear. "Yes, that's it! We need to warn everyone in a very calm and orderly fashion!"

"Right," said Ron, standing up, "How did we figure that out so fast?"

"I have no friggin idea, we do it every year though." said Hermione.

Harry walked back up to the castle, Ron and Hermione behind him, flicking boogers in his hair and laughing.

As soon as they reached the castle, Harry ran into the Great Hall and started screaming at everyone.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THE KILLER CHIPMUNKS ARE BACK!"

People started screaming and jumped up from their tables, knocking over the benches they sat on, even knocking over the huge tables. Some people started running on the tables laughing. McGonagall started throwing food at people and laughing, Professor Sprout started throwing plants at everyone, Hagrid, who had been revived by Madam Pomfrey, started shrieking and running for the door, trampling kids and tiny Professor Flitwick started laughing manically and somehow flipped over the high table. Dumbledore, however, pulled out his machine gun and started shooting at the ceiling.

Whatever he thought was going to happen, perhaps that everyone would fall silent, did not, and everyone started running faster at hearing gunshots.

"Ah crap, not another war..." He muttered to himself and then made his way back to his office.

Perhaps it was time to tell the ministry what was happening. He would go to them with no evidence whatsoever, being that they had none and hadn't even heard any word of the chipmunks.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks go to: DeannaSmith

Please review!

-C&D


	12. The REAL return of the Killer Chipmunks

Chip the chipmunk was a very happy little creature. He had accomplished the mission his brother, Dale had given him. He had gathered every chipmunk he could find in Britian, and brought them all to fight for their rights as chipmunks. If you do not know, this war the chipmunks were raging against mankind was quite pointless. It had all started a year ago when Draco Malfoy and Rubeus Hagrid were playing in the lake when Hagrid farted under the water and sent fart water bubbles flying onto the passing Chip the chipmunk, whom had just gotten his hair done.

And then, his brother Dale, who had payed for it, waged war against all humans...

Anyhoo, now he was making his way back to Hogwarts school with his army of MIIIILLLLLIIIIIOOOOONNNNNNSSS!

Dumbledore wrote his letter to the ministry of magic informing them that he was worried about the killer chipmunks returning with an army.

Then he waited for the reply.

He waited.

And he waited.

And he waited.

He waited hours.

He waited days.

He waited more days.

Then he realized that he hadn't even sent the letter.

"HOLY SHI-"

There was a knock at his door and he heard a sing-song happy sounding voice.

"PROOOFEEEESSSOOOOR!"

Crap. He knew that voice. And before he told him to come in, Harry walked in himself.

"Hi professor. Ew. It stinks in here...we were just wondering if you were ok up here."

Dumbledore then screamed and threw Harry out of his window.

"Oh Ron! I Love you too!"

Hermione ran to Ron, planning on hugging or kissing him or both.

Ron ran toward Hermione.

Things seemed to be going in slow motion. She saw Ron running toward her, arms outstretched. And then she saw Harry laughing fall on top of Ron from the sky and crush him.

She screamed.

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Then she passed out from lack of air. Then she woke up.

She looked at bloody Ron then at laughing Harry.

"Ah well!" she shrugged then headed back into the castle.

"Are you ready soldiers!" Chip the chipmunk squeaked at his swarm of chipmunks in army outfits.

They all squeaked their approval.

"Then, I know this is a bad way of handling things, but CHARGE!"

A/N: Sorry that was so short! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed!


	13. The Hospital Wing

Harry, boogers stuck in his hair, walked up to the hospital wing with Hermione to see Ron.

They walked into the bright room to see Ron lying on his back on his white bed, a huge cast around his neck and a black eye. He cracked one eye open and looked at them.

"Oh hi Harry, thanks for breaking my neck by the way..." Ron glared at him, and Harry's eyes welled with tears.

"I'm sorry Ron," Harry looked like he was fighting something off. "You just-"

"It's alright man you're my friend," said Ron.

"Look so funny!" Harry started giggling madly and threw imself onto Ron's bed, topling onto his bruised legs.

Ron screamed.

Harry laughed.

Hermione looked on in the background and sighed. "Those guys! They're such good kidders..." She laughed along and jumped on Ron also, causing him to scream once again in intense pain.

The chipmunks raced up the lawn to the school, beating their chests and screaming their war cries. The first to notice them coming was Ginny. But she had been prepared for it. She lifted the red flag high over the school, so that everyone could see it. Once she was sure everyone was safely inside the school, except for Hagrid because she didn't like him, she closed the doors.

The door to the hospital wing burst open to emmit a panting Colin Creevey.

"The killer chipmunks, they're here!"

He started screaming and running around in circles.

Hermione and Harry jumped up from the bed and raced to the door.

"Guys wait! Get Madam Pomfrey to heal me, quickly, so I can help! Hurry!"

Harry and Hermione looked at each other and smiled.

"No Ron, you stay here with Colin."

Colin smiled evilly.

"He'll show you his new pole dancing moves!"

"What! Colin pole dances?" Ron screamed.

Harry and Hermione ran away, giggling all the way. It was now time to kick some chipmunk butt.

A/N:Thanks for reviewing to: animefreak123, DragonHeartString101, HermioneandDracoForever, and Cecikun(yes, she is revived, dunno why she's not pretending anymore though. I suppose she just got tired of doing it...)

Thanks, and please review!

-ChipandDale


	14. Why Is Everyone Laughing?

Harry and Hermione ran for the Great Hall where they were sure to find the school gathered. But Harry stopped in an empty hallway and grimaced at Hermione.

"Oh no."

"What is it Harry? We have to hurry!" said Hermione.

"I kinda have to dookie..." Harry said sheepishly.

"Oh geese, Harry!"

A loud farting noise and a sick sounding splatter suddenly ripped through the air very quickly.

"Well, I don't have to go anymore!" said Harry happily, picking his nose.

"Oh, oh, Harry! EW!" Hermione screamed and ran in the other direction, away from Harry, who chased her laughing like a maniac, thinking this was some sort of fun game.

They ran all the way to the Great Hall, but walked inside. As soon as they did though, everyone sitting down in there jerked their heads in their direction at exactly the same time. There was a long silence, and then everyone started pointing and laughing at them.

They laughed so hard, they had tears coming down their faces, and one kid ran from the hall to the bathroom so that he wouldn't wet himself.

Hermione walked slowly to the Gryffindor table and sat down and immediatly everyone went from cracking up to deathly silent.

"Er, why was everyone laughing?" Hermione asked Ginny.

Ginny looked at her, and wiped the tears from her face. "I don't know, Dumbledore told us to, and you guys just looked so stupid when you walked in!"

Harry came up and sat down beside Hermione and Ginny with a loud, SPLAT!

Ginny raised an eyebrow at him.

"He dookied in his pants..." said Hermione.

Dumbledore stood up to make a speech or whatever the crap they were waiting for and everyone fell silent.

"Hey! My peeps! I need to make an anouncement! So shutup and fricken listen to me!"

Everyone waited for a speech from Dumbledore, but Dumbledore just looked at the ceiling with a rather dazed look on his face. He suddenly snapped out of it and blinked at them all.

"Oh sorry, I was thinking about the last episode of the OC; I still can't believe that happened to--oh yeah, speech! Well, here it comes..."


	15. Killer Dumbledore

"I...am going to kill you all!"

Dumbledore pulled out his machine gun and started shooting at the kids, but didn't hit anyone. It fact, it was quite surprising to Hermione that all the kids were flipping through the air in cat-like motions, dodging every single bullet.

Dumbledore stopped, very angry with them all. He then pulled out some dental floss from his pocket, sat down, and started flossing. Not one person seemed to find this strange though, and as soon as food appeared on the golden plates, everyone dived for the food and wrestled violently over it as if they hadn't eaten in weeks.

To make all of this stranger, Professor Sprout started shoveling dirt onto all of them, claiming that it would make them stronger, when secretly, she wanted to kill them all.

The cute little killer chipmunks stood banging on the big, oak double doors that led into the castle with their little fists, screaming curses at all of the humans inside.

"Wait a minute!" Chip squeaked. "Let's just climb up these walls and into that window!"

Chip pointed to a window high above them, where Filch stood placing flower pots on the window seal and watering them. The chipmunks all screamed as one and raced for the window.

A food fight had broken out in the Great Hall, and Professor McGonagall was trying in vain to restore the calm that never exisisted in the Great Hall. They all laughed, and threw food at each other, having the time of their lives.

Suddenly, there was a loud, BANG on the double doors to the Great Hall.

A/N: Thanks for reviewing to: reader35 and kaleigh hill! 


	16. THE CHIPMUNKS ARE HERE!

Chapter 17 Their reaction was nothing of a surprise to anyone. They all screamed and screamed, running around in circles, and hiding under the tables. They really had no idea what was at the door, but they screamed and screamed anyway.

Finally, the door opened, and a young teenage boy dressed as a pizza delivery boy walked in, holding a box of pizza.

"Um...Did someone order a pizza?" He asked, looked around the room at the screaming kids.

At seeing this delivery boy, no one seemed to calm down, and still thought that they were under attack. Kids screamed, ran, and threw food at each other, and took cover behind the high table.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BUTTCHEEK BOY!" Dumbledore boomed, standing up from his chair.

The boy looked very confused now, but answered anyway. "I'm delivering a pizza..."

Snape jumped up from the High Table and walked over to the boy, jerking the pizza from his hands.

"It's mine," Snape said, and blushed.

"Alright, that will be nineteen-"

Dumbledore stood up and shot the boy down with his machine gun. Everyone stood up and cheered as if they had just won a battle and lifted Dumbledore up on their shoulders, carrying him out of the Great Hall, cheering all the way. But in the entrance hall waiting for them were the killer chipmunks, acorn guns and cannons at the ready. At the sight of them, the kids immediately dropped Dumbledore and ran for their lives. 


End file.
